My Blog

With sleep still lining my eyes I ran my lazy fingers up my mother’s coffee table and tried to find my vibrating cellphone. I grabbed it with such hurried manner it was as if my life depended on it. I was so careless the souvenirs from Istanbul my father had brought with him a few years back almost fell  and break into smithereens. The reason for my sleeping there is a different story far more embarrasing and a secret as well. Anyway, I wanted to throw the damn thing against the wall ‘coz it was making so much noise that it annoyed me. My tired brain still wasn’t functioning well and I really wanted to go back to sleep. I didn’t want to read the barrage of messages, but upon close inspection I saw in bold letters the words: ceasarean, blood pressure 220 over 150, and the name Tiffanee that went along with it. It was indeed enough to make me jump out of where I was lying down and pillage through the kitchen like a  pirate. I found an abundance of coffee, great! My bestfriend of more than a hundred years gave glorious birth to her first born; a son. A bouncing baby boy and if you know Tiffanee and her hubby you’d probably know what I’m talking about. She got married to my wonderful cousin a few months back and hold on to your seats– I was the Maid of Honor. Now, imagine that and try very hard to digest it. Even I could not believe it. Hahaha! Shortly after, I was stirring my cup of coffee when I had an episode of chilhood flashbacks. Snippets of when we were still in first grade during our christmas party. From there it went to the time we were in high school and used to go around town with only a meager twenty pesos each as ‘panglakwatsa’. I have phenomenal memories with her which include problems with boys and our dysfunctional family not to mention our endless battle with weight gain. And with that in mind, I felt like crying. In fact, I wanted to wail and make such hideous noise like that of a banshee, but not a single tear fell. I guess I wasn’t ready for my close up. It would have been cinematic. Huh! Tough luck. Maybe I was just too happy and excited for her. Through the years whatever news assailed me I have been calm. News like this have a weird effect on me. After voraciously consuming great amounts of coffee enough to give me crazy-fuck palpitations, I found myself in the bathroom. No, I clearly wasn’t shitting myself to kingdom come. It wasn’t like that, promise. Like an obssessive-compulsive freak I gathered all my cleaning agents and started scrubbing like crazy. Every crevice of every tile, every damn dirt my eager hands could afford to scrub. I made sure to annihilate every minute living abomination that existed in that bathroom. I scrubbed with so much love I wanted to marry it. Cleaning is my way of coping. Some smoke, some shop while others do drugs. Some even do each other. I clean. I guess I was made that way. What can I say? It’s in my DNA. Time surely fly with great speed you never know what would happen next. People get married and sometimes they get separated while others in an unfortunate circumstance perish. At times I am assaulted with a distinct scary feeling like dementia, but it doesn’t matter much now.. It doesn’t bother me that much like it used to. I know for sure there would always be a room for me to clean. That would be therapeutic.   

This entry was posted on Friday, June 8th, 2007 at 10:35 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.